Dooley: Did ye hear the news?
Murphy: What news?
Dooley: About the “e’ Liberry, —it is finished.
Murphy: Sure, I knew that a month ago.
Dooley: And did ye hear when it is to be opened?
Murphy: No.
Dooley: Well, it is to be opened on the 12th July next, by his Lordship, Lord Aberdeen, our new annointed Leftenant.
Murphy: And why the 12th of July?
Dooley: Well, that day is generally a very warm July in the North; they celebrate and honour the memory of the immortal Billy, and the battle of the “Boine.”
Murphy: What has that to do with Limerick?
Dooley: We are going to celebrate it also, to show there is no ill feeling.
Murphy: And what does Alderman D—-y say about it?
Dooley: Sure he says “We may as well accept the inevitable, and that it is now time to throw up the sponge, or the gun and become wise.”
Murphy: And are they to have any band?
Dooley: Well, they say the fighting fifi are engaged to play a selection of Irish music.
Murphy: But sure there will be no fighting?
Dooley: No, if the Lord Leftenant does not come.
Murphy: And what about the museum?
Dooley: That is to be opened too.
Murphy: And what will it contain?
Dooley: Well, it will contain many things of interest, and the Library Committee are going to get a curator.
Murphy: An incubator?
Dooley: No, you stupid, a curator.
Murphy: Will it be alive, or sealed up in a glass case?
Dooley: It will be alive, and he will explain all the curios to intelligent persons like you and me.
Murphy: But he might not know the names of all the curios?
Dooley: Oh yes, he will, and he will also know Latin, French, Irish, Irish Antiquities, Irish History, Bibliography, Freehand Drawing, and he must be able to read and write.
Murphy: So, he will be a walking encyclopedia.
Dooley: What is that?
Murphy: Well, one of them things that they pay 2s 6d down for and keep paying 2s 6d a week regularly until the day of general judgment; the curator will, in fact, be a walking curiosity.
Dooley: And canvassing for the job will disqualify.
Murphy: Yes, but sure all the members have been canvassed already.
Dooley: And why must he know Latin?
Murphy: Well, if he does not remember the names of some of the curios, he can say something in Latin instead.
Dooley: Will there be any christening ceremony?
Murphy: What do you mean?
Dooley: I mean will they wet the job?
Murphy: I have heard the Mayor is to give a grand champagne supper after the opening ceremony and that his Honor Dick A——m’s is to preside.
Dooley: Well, I only hope two invitations will come our way.
“THE JEW.”
Limerick Echo – Tuesday 19 June 1906
