In the picturesque town of Glin, there may be mariners aplenty, but it seems there are no “ancient mariners” among them. The famous cry, “Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink,” would hardly be fitting for this particular locality. In fact, one might argue that there are quite a few “drops” of various qualities to drink. The current predicament faced by the residents of Glin, as of a few days ago, was not about whiskey but rather the shortage of water. It remains an open question whether the drought is caused by the current water supply being insufficient to dilute the strength of Glin whiskey. Perhaps the members of the Limerick Guardians who attend Glin School Board meetings could provide some insights on this matter.

In a humorous tone, our sensational contemporary, the Limerick Chronicle, recently stated, “Munster expects that every hen each day will do its duty.” This declaration pertains to a laying competition initiated by the Munster Connacht Exhibition, starting this week. The editor, in a characteristic display of unconscious humor, suggested that if it were possible to influence the hens in this competition, it would be done in the words of Nelson’s famous signal, slightly altered, as previously quoted.

However, one might argue that the Chronicle’s choice of quotation is not the most suitable for a pullet competition, where the emphasis is on the weight of the eggs. A more fitting quote might be, “Lay on Macduff and damn the hens that lay not eggs enough.” Although this quotation has been slightly altered, it directly relates to the competition’s focus on the weight of the eggs. The only drawback is that it contains some swear words, although a bit of “fowl” language might be permissible in this context.

In a recent effort, I attempted to sketch the outlines of a great yet modest character—my friend “D. B. Urgo.” From private sources, I’ve heard that my attempt to do justice to this remarkable personality deeply affected him, and he shed salt tears while reading my words. Given his proximity to the sea, it’s only natural that his tears should carry a touch of saline. However, I assure you that there was no bitterness when he raised his glass in a secluded coastal retreat, just as there was none when he joined me for a drink at “Billies.”

Now, as for the mysterious “Billies,” I’ll leave it to the reader’s imagination, but if you find yourself curious and in doubt, a visit to “my house” one evening might provide enlightenment. I’ve heard that my friend is announcing his intention to return home, and despite my playful jabs, I hope his “standing” remains unwavering after a long railway journey.

These random notes from an outsider provide a glimpse into the whimsical observations and musings of a keen observer of life’s peculiarities. Whether pondering the water shortage in Glin, a laying competition for hens, or the enigmatic “Billies,” these notes offer a lighthearted perspective on the world.

Limerick Echo – Tuesday 03 July 1906