In Limerick, residents have received a stark public notice warning of water supply issues in the city, ascribed to a prolonged drought in the Shanuoon region. The notification states that the usual water source from Clareville has dwindled to an inadequate level, compelling authorities to tap into the reserves of Rhebogue. Alongside this caution, the Sanitary Committee of the Corporation strongly advises the public to boil the water before consumption. In a city that has long sung its praises in the form of limericks, the situation has taken a poetic turn as the populace grapples with water shortages.

Just like the ancient mariner,
The ratepayer sadly sighs,
With water, water, everywhere,
To drink it is not wise,

For Clareville now has ceased to work,
And to Rhebogue, they turn,
Where microbes in your cup that lurk,
You must with boiling burn.

And when at early morn you rise,
To take your glass—of water,
You’ll not forget that in it lies,
An enemy, to slaughter;

And as the quickest way to kill,
A foe so very frisky,
Your glass with water you half-fill,
Then add a “bait” of whiskey.

The situation in Limerick has prompted concerns about water quality and availability. With the switch to the Rhebogue supply, residents are being urged to take extra precautions by boiling their tap water before use to ensure it is safe for consumption. This unexpected twist in the city’s water supply has left many wondering about the root causes and how best to navigate these challenging times.

Risky Bicycle Stunts on the Dock Pier

Meanwhile, in a different part of the city, a daredevil cyclist recently made headlines with a dangerous stunt attempt on the Dock Pier. This young enthusiast appeared to be attempting to emulate the daring feats often seen in the world of extreme sports, such as “looping the loop” with a bicycle. The chosen racing track for this audacious endeavour was none other than the precarious Dock Pier.

After a few nerve-wracking circles on the pier’s edge, the cyclist’s stunt took an unexpected turn as he lost control and plunged into the river. Fortunately, the bicycle itself touched the riverbed, indicating the resilience of Dunlop tires. However, the adventurous rider was promptly rescued by a vigilant onlooker, Mrs. Cuddiby.

This incident has raised concerns about public safety and the need for proper warnings and precautions at such locations. It is now being suggested that a notice should be prominently displayed, cautioning cyclists about the dangers of performing stunts on the Dock Pier. A similar notice is already in place at the Hill of Annacotty, warning cyclists about potential hazards “at the bottom.”

Notably, this incident also drew attention to the “Black Swan” establishment, which remains curiously quiet amid the ongoing discussions about the safety of the Dock Pier for cyclists. Some wonder why the proprietor of this establishment has not taken legal action against those responsible for the notice at the Hill of Annacotty.

American Boot Scandal Unveiled

Turning our attention to global matters, a new controversy is brewing in the world of fashion. It appears that a shocking revelation has surfaced regarding the materials used in certain types of footwear, specifically the so-called “mixed boots.” These boots, known for their glove-like fit and flexibility, have long been favored by fashionable individuals, especially those looking to make a stylish impression on their significant others. However, recent reports suggest that these boots may not be what they seem.

Contrary to popular belief, it is alleged that these fashionable boots are not crafted from genuine leather but are instead made from a concoction of glucose and cardboard, with a dash of Epsom salts thrown into the mix. This revelation has left many consumers in disbelief, as they had assumed that their footwear was made from high-quality materials.

The news of these mixed boots has sparked a range of reactions, from disbelief to humor. Some have even drawn parallels to the recent exposé of the meatpacking industry in Chicago, where questionable practices were revealed. However, it’s important to note that the boot industry’s situation may not be as dire as it initially seems.

In a surprising twist, some argue that these boots might have an unexpected benefit. The mixture of glucose and cardboard, along with the inclusion of Epsom salts, could potentially offer an alternative to traditional methods of administering medicine. This could be particularly appealing to those who are averse to taking medication in the usual form.

In conclusion, the world of footwear is experiencing a shake-up as the true composition of certain trendy boots comes to light. While the revelation has raised eyebrows and prompted discussions about consumer trust and product quality, it also offers a unique perspective on innovation in unlikely places.

The Saga of Monaghan’s Casuals and a Ghostly Solution

On a lighter note, the town of Monaghan is grappling with its own peculiar challenge – what to do with the so-called “casuals.” These individuals, often referred to as “gentlemen of the road,” are a transient population known for their itinerant lifestyle and occasional visits to local shelters and workhouses.

Recently, the Monaghan Guardians convened to discuss the issue of accommodating casuals in the town. The proposal to provide these weary travelers with access to baths was met with skepticism. Some argued that offering baths might actually encourage more casuals to visit, which was seen as an undesirable outcome.

This debate revealed a potential misunderstanding of the preferences of these travelers. Casuals are not known for their enthusiasm for baths, and for them, a bath is more likely to be perceived as a form of torture rather than a luxury. The penny or coin given to a casual is typically assumed to be used for necessities like food rather than a dip in a tub.

In an unexpected twist, the Master of the Monaghan Union Board proposed a rather unconventional solution to the casuals conundrum. He suggested that the Guardians advertise for a ghost to scare the casuals away from the town. This proposal, while undoubtedly original, garnered both amusement and intrigue from those in attendance.

The Master’s imaginative idea involved hiring a real, live spirit with a terrifying appearance and a willingness to haunt the streets of Monaghan during the nighttime hours, from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. The ghost would be expected to emit six unearthly yells on each nocturnal journey. Applicants would need to come dressed in their most ghostly attire and be prepared to demonstrate their spectral qualities before the Board of Guardians.

Furthermore, the advertisement humorously stated that chalk could be used in the audition process, and candidates found lacking in the “spirit” department would be disqualified. Refreshments were allowed at Hassetts, a local establishment, but excessive indulgence, or “gobbling,” was expressly prohibited.

This whimsical solution has added a touch of humor to the ongoing discussion about how to handle casuals in Monaghan. While the proposal may not be taken seriously, it underscores the creativity and unique perspectives that can emerge in local governance.

In conclusion, Limerick finds itself facing a water supply challenge, prompting residents to boil their water as a precaution. A daring bicycle stunt on the Dock Pier has raised concerns about safety, leading to calls for warnings. The revelation of mixed boots has created a stir in the fashion world, with unexpected medicinal potential.

Limerick Echo – Tuesday 24 July 1906